I promised you some men’s bottoms to make things fair. I spent the day on the beach at St Tropez under my Parasol with my sketchbook and darkest sun glasses. Ladies and Gentlemen I am pleased to present Some of The Bottoms at St Tropez:
READ MOREVery British Bitching
Eavesdropping again..Another great quote written down live from the table next to mine…
READ MOREAn Obedient Bridesmaid
I wrote this poem after speaking with a friend about her experience and perception of herself as a bridesmaid:
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Effortless Confessions
I found a box of eggs on the carpet in the corner behind the curtains. They were 2 months past their use by date and like small grenades ready to go off at any moment. I knew immediately who the culprit was. But I didn’t expect Such a total lack of remorse, she barely […]
READ MOREMe Time.
A nice relaxing swim. Followed by getting changed in a room full of women who have it seems, long since past caring about privacy. I’m guessing they too have had kids.
READ MOREFashion Students’ Legs
My initial idea that these young women would represent all the excitement in the future of fashion was literally ripped apart. At the knees.
READ MOREThe Big Blue Finger
I am not trying to be clever, it’s just how I feel. Sorry NHS, sorry public services, sorry hard working people on shit wages. Now its time for the big blue finger.
READ MOREPolitical Leaders and Sandwiches.
A poem I wrote a little while ago regarding Thursday’s general election. I will be voting, but I will feel a little like I’m choosing a sandwich in a bad supermarket:
READ MOREBullshit Baffles Brains
Sounding off in Carluccio’s. a little eave’s dropping this morning confirms the bullshit motto taught to me by my Great Uncle Gilbert. (Wonderful man). Just look at that finger.
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A Small Observation On The School Run
Media Mum demonstrates irritating and not uncommon 500-decibel-own-child-worship. Sideways glance from Mother in Niquab confirms this.
READ MORESchool Rumour: Half Bull Baby
A new school rumour for you from Eleanor Verner:
READ MOREPhotojournalism Goes Insane Over Pickle Story
Reading this story in today’s Metro, I couldn’t help but imagine the following conversation: The Photgrapher “Ok Alan, I think the BEST thing is if you lie flat on the floor with your arms outstretched and hold the ACUTAL jar of pickled onions out towards me as if you’re offering me one. Floor level style. […]
READ MOREMandatory Health Check
My daughter was due her routine health check. The lady had a very special ‘way’….It was like being sent to the headmaster’s office.
READ MOREToday’s Solar Eclipse – Using Your ACTUAL Eyes
Might I suggest using the old fashioned method of watching this morning’s solar eclipse?Heck we could even leave our phones by the bed?! #LivingOnTheEdge #UsingYourActualEyes
READ MOREiBeard The Latest Must Have At Apple Store
At the genius bar in Regent Street, I couldn’t help but notice the abundant facial hair (On the men). I drew a few while they were tapping away on peoples equipment fixing things, and looking generally furry, yet serious.
READ MOREThe Ad For Acupuncture Looked a Bit Like This
I have had acupuncture before, and when they put the needles in my face, I didn’t smile…
READ MOREConfessions to a Stranger
A brief conversation with a little girl at my daughters school went something like this
READ MOREVote in May. Keep The Nutters at Bay
There are many reasons why I find Nigel Farage hard to swallow. (Perhaps you can feel it in my drawing.) But the fact he publicly admires Russia’s own Alpha nutter, Putin sort of nutshells almost all of them. I know it’s not new news, but it’s relevant. Vote in May – Keep the Nutters at Bay.
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