I was driving home from dropping my 10 year old off at school in the rain this morning, when I gave way to a stressed-looking woman, driving a car full of small kids to school. She was clutching the steering wheel like she wanted to wring its neck. I slowed down and I let her […]
READ MORE“At Least He Never Hit You.”
The relationship that I am in now illuminates a stark contrast from the one I walked away from 4 years ago. The in’s and out’s (excuse the pun) of his behaviour which led to the separation back then no longer make me so sad. As I heal, what I experience now is this realisation concerning […]
READ MOREA Day In The Life of A Working Mum
I cycle into the campus carpark, at full pelt. To the left is where the bike cage is situated. Its 9:10am but Im only late because Lilou had to have a 20 minute poo before school. It happens 50% pf the time. “Come on Lilou, we’re going to be late!” “But its a bad one, […]
READ MOREThe First Family Holiday Without Him
It was 1 year and 6 days ago when I decided to leave. He had been so bad that I was trembling. Small, tiny, but resonating right through me like a hum. Right down to my cells. I still do tremble like that sometimes, and this morning is one of those times. We aren’t going […]
READ MOREBack To School
The 6 weeks holidays. The End. The children have been singing Ed Sheeran throughout.(“I’m in Lurv with yer bar-de”..) It is now etched into my mind and circles around in my brain throughout meetings, discussions and even arguments – there have been a few. It’s been a pleasure, don’t get me wrong but;
READ MOREElection Stress and Confusion Causes Havoc With Under Ripe Avocado In Sock.
Election stress and uncertainty can manifest itself in many ways. Laura Wallington from Nottingham caused damage to property today after putting an under ripe avocado into an odd Jojo Maman Bebe sock and swinging it about in M&S foodhall, sending whole shelves of quinoa, beetroot and couscous crashing onto the floor and ruining people’s Converse. […]
READ MOREWorld Book Day School Run
My Darth Vader, (on blue scooter) meets potential rival, Darth Vader, (on red scooter). They give each other the Death Stare, but no-one seems to have been harmed.
READ MOREThe Self Adhesive Moustache
All 4 of them were wearing little self adhesive moustaches.. They were having a ball. But apparently you should not poo while wearing one, or at least according to my 4 year old….
READ MOREParenting. What about ‘Childing?’
When your kids want something there really is no excuse available to you that they will accept. Wether it’s having another ice cream, watching another episode of Paw Patrol, not having a bath, or when you, yes YOU (remember!?) want to leave the playground, because you want a wee so much that you know one sneeze […]
READ MOREParents: New Washing Revolution
A revolutionary new washing machine designed with babies, toddlers, and pre schoolers in mind. Works right up until they leave home. #AllTypesOfShit
READ MOREA 4 year olds’ Argument for Being Vegetarian
It was an accidental argument for being vegetarian , but non the less a good one:
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Top 10 Unrealistic Promises for a Mother
If you manage even 2 of these you’re doing brilliantly.
READ MOREMy Section in the Guardian: Today
I didn’t mention it yet but I have a section in the Family section of the UK Guardian. It’s called ‘The Quick Guide to Family’ and is based on a series of images which started life on this blog. Here is the image in today’s copy. Inspired by how I feel sometimes:
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Branding That Turns Mums into Morons
I wandered into the store called Joules earlier. To see if they had any little girls dresses, when I noticed the brightly decorated muslin cloths. ‘Hmm pretty’ I thought, I went over, and, written in big text across the front of the packaging was written “A mum’s best friend“. “Fuck off” I thought, why not write […]
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Effortless Confessions
I found a box of eggs on the carpet in the corner behind the curtains. They were 2 months past their use by date and like small grenades ready to go off at any moment. I knew immediately who the culprit was. But I didn’t expect Such a total lack of remorse, she barely […]
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