Dear Laura,
I saw you working the check out last week and was blown away by how well you work.
Would you be available to work the check-out at Coolest Sexy Supermarket next Thursday 9th from 9am – 10pm?
So sorry, we don’t have any budget for this!!!!!! But it’s going to be an AMAZING day. We are selling some REALLY exciting vegetables that are exclusive to us. They literally are the coolest vegetables on the market right now.
There is an aubergine that looks like a massive pair of testicles. SO funny, yet stylish?
We also have on board one of the best shelf stylists, Marcus, so you’ll make some great current contacts there too. You’ll get a 3 minute break to meet him over a coke and a fag by the bins out the back. You should see how well this guy styles shelves! He can literally put calves liver next to hummus, next to prawns next to underpants. It’s completely new and SO ahead of it’s time.
You’ll have the freedom to decide which order you scan the items and also wether you wear a jumper or cardigan, so as you can see, you’ll have almost TOTAL CREATIVE FREEDOM- AMAZE!!!!!!
Let me know in the next 2.5 seconds (really tight deadline!!!!!!!!)
Bye for now,
Libby Sherwin-Chatillon
Genius!